Friday, January 23, 2009

Masajes? My day with the pervertidos.

I arrived in the office on Thursday morning (after my exhausting but successful week in school), and answered a phone call. The man on the other end was speaking Spanish and saying something about needing my services. I told him (in shamefully broken Spanish, I'm sure) that he had the wrong number. As soon as I hung up my co-workers told me that there had been men calling all week, and asking for "Diana's (pronounced "Dee-Anna"...for those of you Wisconnies that read this and are not used to hearing the Spanish pronunciation of that name) Masajes." Apparently one of our back lines had been mistakenly published in a Spanish-language classified for "Diana's happy-ending style" massage.

Through Google translate I managed to figure out how to ask where the number was published. Apparently El Aviso was given our number by Diana mistakenly. Here's the ad (and of those numbers is ours):

"Masajes la Sirenita"

The girl that I spoke with at El Aviso and I got a good laugh out of this when she realized the nature of the ad. 24 hours, huh? I'd suppose so because I had 8 middle of the night hang-up messages on the voicemail. In case you were wondering, I blacked out the numbers because I don't need any jokester blog readers pranking me at work.

Now yesterday...after answering these calls novelty started to wear off. I could only hear, "Ahhhhh....Diana? Masajes?" from breathy, sweaty-sounding perverts for so long before I had to get creative. That, and I have PMS so bad that I feel like I'm wearing a fat suit, and I'm perfectly willing to take out my hormonal rage on a man that is not my sweet E. How could I get to these guys? I turned to Google translate...

Here are a few little phrases that I learned to say in Spanish (thanks, Google):

  • Do you have a wife?...actually I already knew that one already. Thanks, Srta. Werner.
  • You should be ashamed of yourself
  • You need to go to church (I love that some of these guys thought that they were possibly getting a message from a higher power to change their ways)
  • AND....the ever effective: Pervert...or should I say, "Pervertido?"

I have no idea how much Diana charges, but her phone is ringing off the hook. It's probably not much because her potential clients don't exactly sound like Newport Harbor yacht owners. Even at 25 bucks and hour I had probably $2000 plus in potential business calling for Diana. Not bad for a couple of days.

Recession? What recession? I have got to ask Diana about her business model. Maybe we should put an ad in El Aviso...or hire a happy ending masseuse on staff. **Insert "staff masseuse" joke here**

I tried calling the other number on the ad with the girls in the office next door, but alas...Diana hung up on us.

There is a silver lining, however. I have decided to bite the bullet and take some Spanish classes online this summer. I've been kind of hesitant to undertake any more than my nursing classes, but I think I can handle it. I'll take them as "pass/fail" so they don't screw up my nursing school GPA. I miss speaking Spanish. I used to be quite good at it. Besides una enfermera que puede hablar español gana más dinero.

Google that...

1 comment:

quartergoddess said...

That's kind of awesome.
If it were something important like potentially a doctor's office or a lawyer, you might have to feel bad for the poor misdirected souls. But instead you get all the spanish speaking perverts.