Sex on the first date: Marriage material or not?

This blog is inspired by the recent trials and tribulations of one of my closest friends. My friend was informed that she was not marriage material by a (I was about to call him a "man," but that is totally inappropriate considering the subject)...sociopathic little boy that she had been seeing...because she had sex with him on the first date. He said that no future wife of his would do the nasty on the first, second OR third date. Nice.

Does his partaking in sex on the first date eliminate him from the running for potential husband material? Not in his mind...His double standards make me think that this guy should be removed from the gene pool, as our planet has met its "Douchebag Quota" through at least 2050.

Now, I'm just going to say...that you can find love with sex on the first date.

I decided (having several personal examples proving Douchebag's theory on marriage material quite false) to defer my questioning to an informal survey of my male friends. So far it's 3/4 men think that sex on the first date DOES NOT disqualify a girl from the "marriage potential" category.

Here are four opinions from four very different guy friends:

1. J - Sex on the first date = fling NOT marriage. His opinion was that a girl who puts out right away would be fun for a few months at the most, but most likely too unstable for the long term. He then sort of back tracked saying that if she looked like the type you could bring home to the parents, then maybe she was marriage material.

Consensus J: Absolutely not marriage material, unless she can clean up into a J-Crew girl (like me...I was given as the "All American Girl" example in this case).

2. C - He said that the "sex on the first date" excuse was simply Douchebag's exit strategy. A direct IM quote from C: "yeah if i got laid on the first date, i was happy, if i continued a relationship that was based on how i got along with her i would either date her, booty call her or dump her it's that simple."

Consensus C: Sex on the first date is what men are looking for.

3. M - Apparently M and his current girlfriend did the nasty on their first date. According to M, sex on the first date is cause for concern about cheating initially, but that concern can be proven wrong over time. M says that if a girl does "everything" (which I'm assuming means...bondage gear and handcuffs...haha) on the first date, then there's minor cause for concern.

He gave two examples. One where a girl at a party ambushed him coming out of the bathroom and they had a wild old time. She was not marriage material due to the surprise nature of the sex attack. His current girlfriend apparently was more restrained on the first date, and was going with the mutual flow of things.

Consensus M: As long as your not swinging from a trapeze on the first date, then you're probably ok for the long haul. (So...If you're looking for a ring AND a ride, hide the trapeze the first time, ladies)

4. JV - I have too many J guy friends...JV says that it depends on if she seems like the monogamous type and if they fall in love.

Consensus JV: Sex on the first date only precludes getting to know one another, and JV does not cast any initial judgments. Good boy, JV. (Ladies, I'll give you his number if you're interested)

What have I learned from my informal survey, beside the fact that I have some brutally honest guy friends? While sex on the first date does not eliminate you from the running for marriage material 75% of the time, it's best to keep your freaky side on the down low for at least a few more dates.

Consensus MLE: No handcuffs on the first date, and Douchebag's theory on marriage material has been proven false.

Oh, and Doucehbag, I hope you find that girl that won't f&@# you on the first date...or the second...or the third. Hell, I hope you find a girl that holds out until marriage. Then, I hope she totally lets herself go (after a few of your hideous demon spawn), and won't let you touch her due to her existing laundry list of sexual inhibitions...thus leaving you in a sexless marriage for the next 50 years. Have fun with your hand and your internet porn, Douchy.

I'm perfectly happy to hear and respond to any opinions on this topic that may appear in the comments section of this blog.

Kisses,
MLE


**UPDATE** according to another guy friend, sex on the first date does not eliminate a woman as marriage material "unless she sucks in bed or has a penis." That means that 4/5 men agree that a woman who sleeps with him on the first date is not out of the running for marriage material.